panic attack (splay) wrote in elite_as_fuck,
panic attack

me and the major don't see eye to eye

name: eli
age: 15
location: portland, orgasm

1. top 5 bands:
the gossip
le tigre
belle & sebastian

2. top 5 movies:
8 femmes
the land of the lost children
singing in the rain (no, seriously.)
my best friend's wedding
nine to five

3. 5 words you constantly use:

4. why are you better than everyone else?
i understand puncuation and grammar; and utilize that understanding. i also understand capitalization, but am lazy and dislike the shift key. perhaps i'm a hypocrite?

5. why do you deserve to be here?
i have brains and guts, and display them on a daily basis. oh, and because i don't listen to or like the blood brothers, coheed & cambria, the postal service, anatomy of a ghost, taking back sunday, and/or the starting line. and because of this.

6. how do you show you really are elite?
by being like, "OH MY GOD, I SO DON'T CARE!" and then secretly applying for this community.

7. if you had 50 dollars would you give a bum a couple bucks?
only if s/he was on the side of the road at a busy intersection and the light had just turned green. because really, those 9-to-5 SUV-owning how-dare-you lame-os can wait a few seconds longer to get on the freeway.

8. who is your favorite author and why?
aldous huxley. not only did he change the way people thought about themselves, about society, and about the future, he understood just how far technology could take us; and just how dangerous and unsettling it could - and still can - turn out to be.

9. what is something you live by everyday?
i pick something new to live by every day. i don't have one for today yet. yesterday was "pictures of strangers turn out the best".

10. if you were an animal, what kind would you be? why?
i'd be a big, sometimes angry dog. because no one fucks with a big angry dog.

11. what kind of shoes do you wear?
orange 80's tennis shoes and pink/teal maryjanes.

12. if you had a puppy what would you name it?
i'd probably name it something really cute and puppy-ish, then it would grow up and the name would be all wrong. i'd rather have a kitten to name vic or stanley, because you can name a kitten anything, and it will still be cute. puppies just require silly names that end up as regret.

13. compare yourself to someone famous (movie star, musician, fictional character, historical figure). why?
rosa parks. because the comparison is almost ridiculous; but i would love to have met her. we could have chilled. i bet she made great cookies.

14. what's your favorite body part?
my thumbs. because honestly, just think of all the things you couldn't do without thumbs.

15. what's your most prized possession?

16. any special talents?
i'm a four-time spelling bee winner, i code HTML from my own brain, i'll kick your ass at tetris, and i can lie my way through a brick wall.

i'm smirking because i know i'm more elite than you. my hair has never looked that cool again. i look like a zombie. and no, i didn't buy the vest.
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